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26/02/2010The Starbucks conspiracy

Starbucks sign Looking for that special brand of coffee-to-go in Luxembourg? You may be out of luck, as our new blogger Libby will explain.

It’s awfully hard to be creative early in the morning. Especially after missing out on my usual triple-caramel-double-decker-pumpkin-flavoured-extra-fatty-iced-macchiato-latte topped with extra whipped cream, cinnamon and chocolate syrup. And a little cookie stuck in the side.

Oh that’s right, I’ve been missing out on this for the last five years now. (Which would probably explain five years of very tired, unproductive mornings.)

You see, wherever I go, Starbucks follows.

Be sure you take a gooood look at that sentence, kids, so that you understand. ‘Wherever I go (as in, AWAY from), Starbucks follows (as in, BEHIND me).

Starbucks caramel cream coffeeLet’s begin with good ol’ Green Bay, shall we?

I waited all through high school to partake in this crazy yuppie Starbucks craze that everyone was talking about in Newsweek and on Dateline NBC, only to have Barnes and Noble and some other Starbucks on the east side go up after I went to Decorah, Iowa to college, where, let’s face it, there will NEVER be a Starbucks (now THAT comment’s going to get people mad, I know).

Then I went to study in Münster (Germany) where, you guessed it, they put in a Starbucks on, like, 25 June 2003. My flight left on 24 June.

The trend continues. I worked in Cologne for a year and a half without drinking a SINGLE coffee, and now – badda-bing, badda-boom! – you’ve got three Starbucks in Cologne for every public bathroom, cathedral souvenir shop and 4711 vendor. EVEN WUPPERTAL, the dirtiest, hard-drug-abused city this side of the Danube has a Starbucks now on the bad side of town. (I’m very fond of Wuppertal, actually, like people tend to find rabbits cute that only have one floppy ear, or dogs that walk with a limp.)




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